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The Craziness of Mrs. Catté
Miranda, Age 10, Kitimat, BC

1. The Starting of the Craziness!

Mary Ramora Catté, who was married to James Nicholas Catté was a normal, well dressed lady. You know, the ones that sew, knit, iron and pick up after their husbands. 

One day . . . . . it was Mrs. Catté's turn to pick up the mail. You see, Mr. and Mrs. Catté alternated chores. As she bent down to pick up the mail she spotted a letter addressed to Mrs. Catté Balgue Residence, Delugne Albesask, R1C 4H6. She was startled at first but picked it up anyway. She read it again to make sure it was at the right house, but sure enough it was. She stared at it suspiciously and all of a sudden her mind went crazy and blissfully blank! She looked around the neighborhood. Her mind had changed, she couldn't read, write or talk English any more! The only language she could speak was ... well, it's not really a language. It was many different languages put together. They were, Bulgarian, Spanish, French and Chinese. The only thing that could change her mind back to normal was if her husband Mr. Catté, who had just been transported to Heartseed Academy, could cast a spell using the many different languages that Mrs. Catté now spoke. 

Mrs. Catté thought "What am I doing at this mansion. I should be changing the signs at the mall to Spanish." Having no brains at all, who knows how Mrs. Catté got to the mall, but she was there in a flash.

When she got to the mall she asked the head clerk of Pandosy's Crafts "Where should I start?" in her funny language. The store clerk just stared at Mrs. Catté in confusion. 

Mrs Catte said again "Where should I start?" But the store clerk just didn't understand, there were over 7 languages in one sentence.

2. Heartseed Academy

The next day Mrs. Catté found herself in a warm bed at Heartseed Academy. At the foot of the bed it said "Coeurgraine". Somehow Mrs. Catté made out what it said. She knew she was at Heartseed. 

She started to walk down the hallway to Find Mr. Catté's office. But it wasn't on the 7th floor where the mini hospital room was so she had to now explore the other levels. When she got to the second floor she found his office. It was the 4th door to the left. Mrs. Catté started to knock like a wobbly loose piece of spagetti. But no one answered. Once again she knocked. No one answered.

Finally Mrs. Catté got the brains to turn around and find Mr. Catté's Classroom. As Mrs. Catté was stumbling up to the 3rd floor hoping to find Mr. Catté, she bumped into the nurse Penny Nundu coming around the corner heading the other way. Then Penny looked at Mrs. Catté suspiciously and said, "Are you lost?" 

Mrs. Catté looked at Penny Nundu with a confused expression on her face and said "How do you get to Mr Caté Classrow?" (How do you get to Mr. Catté's Classroom?) 

Because of Mrs.Catté's mixed up languages Penny had no clue what she was saying, and thought that Mrs.Catté was out of her mind so Penny took her to her mini-hospital room on the 7th floor.

3. Identifying Mrs.Catté

That evening Jonathan Occany - Headmaster said on the P.A., "Would all the teachers go to the mini hospital room on the seventh floor to help Penny Nundu figure out who is the person in bed three who is taking up all of Penny's time."

At the front of the line was Ann Plimpy who taught herbs and fungi. As she peered over bed three, she had a worried face. Then sighed in relief that it was not one of her relatives. The line followed through quickly because everyone wanted to get to the dining hall on the first floor for supper.

At the very end of the line was Mr. Catté who was always the last to find out or get to places. Mr. Catté glanced at the bed and turned to go ..... then quickly spun around with great surprise. It was his wife!!

"Euh mon bonte!" (Oh my goodness) Mr. Catté cried in disbelief!

"You know who it is!" Penny cried, overjoyed.

"Oui, she ís my wife."

"Well," said Penny Nundu, "in that case here is the book for 100 cures for magical sicknesses, cure her!"

Mr. Catté skimmed through the pages quickly. "Ah ha, found it. The cure for cold and sinuses."

"That's not it, you nimwit," exclaimed Penny. "The cure you're looking for is the cure for Language Errors and Brain Confusion."

"Excuse me Penny, I'm her husband I should know. What she has is a cold and her sinuses are clogged?"

"No, No, No, Mr. Catté you have it all wrong. You should have heard her in the hallway. She said lots of weird things in different languages, she ís gone crazy!"

"Okay, okay," said Mr. Catté. After a while of searching through the book Mr. Catté shouted out with enthusiasm "I found it!"

"You did?"

"Yes, the spell is, Te Reparer quel. Tu as besoin de répéter ce charme trois fois."

Mrs. Catté suddenly sat bolt upright and said, "Excuse me Penny and James, I can't stay here long. I've got to get to the mall and change the signs at Delgune mall to Spanish!"

"She spoke English!" exclaimed Penny in a high squeaky voice.

"HALLELUJAh!!! You're normal," screamed Mr. Catté in a enthusiastic, joyful way.

4. The Mall

That afternoon Penny and Mr. Catté put Mrs. Catté onto the Heartseed Academy Airlines and sent her back home in Delgune Albesask! When she arrived at the airport her daughter Shelby, age 13 and her son Raymond, age 7 were there waiting for her.

"Mommy, we missed you, why didn't you tell us you would be away for a few days? We had to call Auntie Sandy and Uncle Alî," said Shelby and Raymond in almost a cry.

"Now settle down children. I have to get to the mall and convert the signs to Spanish," explained Mrs. Catté. 

So Uncle Al drove Mrs. Catté to the mall. When Mrs. Catté arrived she went to the clerk once again at Pandosy Crafts and said, "Where should I start?"

"Hello," said Julie, the clerk. "How may I help you?"

Mrs. Catté said "I'm the lady that is supposed to convert the signs to Spanish."

"Oh, then you are supposed to go to the administration office and ask for Mr. Schwartz."

Where ís that?" questioned Mrs. Catté.

"Second left after the washrooms."

"Hello. How may I help you?" asked the secretary.

"I'm here to see Mr. Schwartz."

"First left down the hallway," said the secretary.

Mrs. Catté started walking down the hallway at a fair speed, hoping that the hallway was going to end soon.

"Good afternoon," Mrs. Catté said. "I'm the lady that is supposed to change the signs to Spanish."

"Oh hello, here are some supplies. You may start anytime!"

"May my two kids Shelby and Raymond help?" asked Mrs. Catté.

"Why, of course." said Mr. Schwartz.

So now all of the signs at Delgune Mall are Spanish and Shelby and Raymond became famous because they were the two kids who helped replace the signs!

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