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Not Another High School Hook-Up
Victoria, Age 12, Connecticut, USA

As I sit and stare at my black and white marble composition notebook, I feel a tear run down my cheek. My eyes which are red and puffy from crying read:

Dear Nate,

Itís the last senior prom, Iím prom queen, and where am I but the only place in the world I would kill to be with you. This night Iím sharing with him is forever and maybe, just maybe, I am misunderstanding myself, but it feels like Iím so lost without you. Although, the sand is smooth like silk, the waves are as deep blue as they ever have been, the sunset is a rainbow in itself, heís gorgeous, a drop-dead beauty, and the stars are shining brighter than I have ever witnessed, nothing is right. Yeah, he kisses me, treats me well, and holds me tight in the mild winds. As his soft and gentle lips graze mine, I wonder, how did it end up like this? If it wasnít for a slightly jealous and annoying comment to my so-called ďbest friend foreverĒ (Gee, from what I knew forever was a lot longer than five years,) we would still be together, like we both wanted. Our blue prints, our life agenda, our fate, our destiny, itís capriciously gone. I never could have pictured us ending up like this.

Now you have her, I hope youíre happy. From what I see, when we pass in the halls, you are. I greatly revere your decisions and love life. Please remember, you said it yourself, ďSure, Serena and I have things in common, but Blair and I have something.Ē Something that is, or was unreal, more amazing than anything we had ever felt before. Could it be? Why, no one would ever believe it, is it true? Was this crazy, unexplainable feeling, love? I think we know that it was, but how come we arenít living together, happily ever after, like what the stories my mother would read to me before tucking me into bed, described it?

I donít see any Romeo and Juliet finales being applauded and demanded for an encore. Where are they? We need them, or we though. Now it is; do they even belong? Help me solve this enigma. I canít seem to find where the sparks went as I look through our more than many love letters we would send during class, our marriage contract from the sixth grade, and your ring.

I came upon my yearbook from just last Thursday, where you wrote: I truly do love you; I hope we stay together FOREVER, I have the best times with you, and you even said I was beautiful. Seems pretty unbelievable how such strong, breathtaking, but heartbreaking emotions we shared for almost two full years fluctuate so rapidly. This wasnít just an evanescent fling. It hurts so much to think, could this have actually been a joke, a simple hoax, a measly nothing, but I do wonder. As terrible as it is, these thoughts are incessant. Did I ever mean anything to you?

Although, it has only been one week since we broke up, it has seemed like a whole entire lifetime. From my thoughts of you being my first and only true love, and oh, so much more, to now what they are, simply nothing. All I have left are dreams of being with you again. We barely know each other anymore, I know what itís like to be with someone who may not appreciate it if you are with me a lot, but is it that much to ask to be yourÖ friend? Iím not sure about your mind, but no one will ever compare the least bit to you, or our relationship in my books.

Please, just remember what we had, what we were. Like Motion City Soundtrack sings, letís hope we never have to say good-bye. Say good-bye. Enjoy your love and relationship withÖ Serena, I want you to have the best. I will be here, anytime, anywhere. I love you Nate. Forever, until the day I die, and beyond. I will be in the city until mid- summer when I start moving my stuff into my dorm down at Yale. You know my number.

Love Always,

Blair

There it was; the letter I chickened out on sending the only boy who I had ever loved. I will regret holding all of that inside, forever. For now, he is gone, not just with another girl; the love of my lifeÖ is dead. Graduation parties, alcohol, and new graduation presents including Nateís new red Jeep Wrangler ruinedómy everything.

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