The Empire State Building
Ben, Age 13, Hubbard, OR
Hamilton Knoxford could feel the heat of the sun through his open window burning his neck. He had always wondered what it would be like to go to the “Big Apple” and stand on top of the Empire State Building.
“Hey Ham! Yelled somebody from downstairs, your breakfast is getting cold!”
“Okay…mom,” said Hamilton.
Hamilton lived with his mother even though he was 25 years old. This was why he could never go to the Big Apple, get a girlfriend, and a tan. “Go get the mail, honey,” said his mother.
As he walked out of his house he could barely see where he was going because of the “crusties”. As he rifled through their mail he noticed a brightly colored card with all the colors of the rainbow on it with a big red apple smack dab in the middle of the card. Almost like he was in a trance, Ham walked back into the house with slow steps, dropped all the mail on the counter except for the “apple card” and then plopped himself in a chair. All the while he was staring at the bright card.
“The Big Apple…,” read Ham as looked at the card twirling it in his hands when it all suddenly clicked in his head. Every year New York City would pick a couple hundred random people to come visit the city for free!
“I get to go to the Big Apple!” yelled Ham.
Five weeks later Ham found himself walking down the ramp off of a huge airliner and had the most perfect view of New York City. Walking outside of the airport Ham stopped a bright yellow taxi and told the driver to take him to his hotel that he had reserved for himself. After getting his keys from the lady at the front he went to his room and threw himself on his bed, instantly falling asleep.
The next morning Ham found himself at the breakfast buffet where he stuffed himself with the cheap food. All of a sudden there was a big commotion at the buffet table. Apparently a man had taken the last English muffin and the man behind him had wanted so the man punched him.
“What was that for you idiot???” asked the man who had a coat on with a patched spot on the elbow of it.
“I wanted that English muffin, you moron!!!!” yelled the other man.
Ham looked down at the forgotten muffin and found it to be pulverized on the ground beyond recognition from the brawl the two men had created which by now they had started fighting again. Just as the man who had started the fight began to throw punches again a police officer held him back and talked with him.
After the incident in the buffet, Ham went and got a taxi which took him to his all time most wanted place to be… the Empire State Building. As Ham stepped out of the taxi he found a huge crowd surrounding five burly guys in suits that were saying that they had to check for anybody was a terrorist since 911 happened. As Ham got closer to the front of the line he felt a rough hand land on is shoulder was twisted around to face the man who had started the fight in the buffet.
“Hi! Said the man, I just happened to notice that you were at the buffet and hope to tag along with and by the way my name is Alexander the Not So Great.”
“Sure, why not,” said Ham a little hesitantly.
As they came up to the guards they were halted where a big officer squinted at them and Ham could smell the onion tuna sandwich in his breath almost making him puke.
“You like you could be a terrorist so I am going to pull you aside for minute,” said the guard with a voice that you could easily tell he had dropped out of school in like 7th grade.
Just then ten guys in black suits walked by the guards without even one guard taking a peek at them and so Ham and to start to argue with the guard saying how unfair he can stop them for nothing but let ten suspicious looking guys walk in without even a glance.
Then Alexander the Not So Great stepped and said in a low voice, “Hey man I’ll give you a very shiny penny if you let us pass.”
“Sir, are you trying to bribe me?” asked the guard.
“Yes I think I am,” replied Alexander the Not So Great.
“Fine", said the guard, "you can pass but I’ll be watching you like a hawk looking for some shiny thing to put in its nest.”
Ham was dumbfounded how they had bribed the guard with a penny but if it got him into the Empire State Building, he would go along with it. As Alexander and Ham walked into the main lobby they saw the ten guys in black suits glance around before going upstairs with a semi large briefcase in one of their hands.
“Dude! Said Alexander the Not So Great, they have nachos here!”
As Alexander walked off to buy some nachos, Ham decided to follow the ten guys in black suits to make sure they weren’t up to any bad things. As he climbed the last step he came upon a horrifying scene. The ten guys in black suits were attaching a bomb to one of the main pillars that supported the building from falling over.
Finally one of the men saw him and yelled at the others before running at him. Dodging the man Ham launched himself at the man who was about to press the button to blow the bomb and tackled him to the ground.
Then a loud, “CHIRP!” caught their attention. A lone bird was sitting on top of the remote and looking the eye of Ham pressed the button to the explosive causing it to blow up the pillar making the building start to fall. As Ham ran down the stairs he ran into Alexander the Not So Great causing the nachos he had gotten to fall out of his hands.
"My nachos!" yelled Alexander as Ham practically dragged him out of the building before it collapsed right in front of them.
"Nooooooo!" yelled Ham as he realized that the Empire State Building had collapsed.
This page was last updated on June 19, 2009 by the KIWW Webmaster.