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Survival of the Fittest
Marcello, Age 14, Shanghai, China

There is a war going on in my community every day, and it is truly gory. Usually, you wouldn’t say it is a real war, but it definitely is. So treacherous, in fact, that over a couple million of the enemy's forces have crumbled and been defeated by my hand. This is an M&M war!

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. Every day, from now until the end, I hold M&M duels. This is truly an event worth doing in everyday life.

Of course, the following information I’m telling you is 100% confidential, so keep it secret. After you have read this document explaining what I do, perform one of the following actions: 1.) If you don’t want to join me, burn this document ASAP (as soon as possible). 2.) If you want to join in, meet me behind the M&M factory at exactly 10 PM (don’t be late!).

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. This could last for at least five to ten minutes.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones and purple ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue and purple M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, pointier or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably, this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions, it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3”x5” card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.”

There can only be one winner, and this is a case of survival of the fittest. In the end who will win? Well, this is a question I have been wondering for many years now. Even though I am outnumbered, I will continue to fight to the finish.

I wouldn’t mind if you too could join me in my "Human vs. M&M" wars!
 

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